“The truth is that I’ve been pushed and pulled by the selfish and selfless parts within myself all my life. It wasn’t until I learned how to be “self-ful” that my yin and yang finally met in the middle and I accomplished peace.” ~ Raj Girn, Confidence Coach, Consultant & Mentor | Founder, The Open Chest® Confidence Academy
A recent session with a client reminded me of some historical challenges that I grappled with for the better part of my formative years.
Although I was able to move past them as an adult – working long and hard with mentors, coupled with long-term deep introspection – my client hasn’t been so fortunate. She is still stuck in the vortex created by two conflicting cultures when they collide.
Suffice to say, she has been living in this limiting aftermath since childhood, brushing things under the carpet until they just wouldn’t stay hidden.
Things started showing up for her that betrayed an intense uneasiness, which had her increasingly asking herself who she was or who she should be. Subsequently, she went on a quest to find answers, which brought her serendipitously to my door.
The familiarity of her chronic torment and anguish is so palpable to me. Having been exposed to it and been strongly influenced by it myself, the struggle to make peace with two, opposing, cultural modalities, had me reflecting on who I was and what I did to move passed it all, so that I could help her do the same.
At the crux of the issue was finding the identity piece, which is even harder when your DNA is bi-cultural. It wreaked havoc on my sense of self and purpose.
I KNEW her intimately, so I’m so honoured to be her mentor through this pivotal journey she is now on to find herself. And I KNOW that together, we will get her to her end goal, on her terms and in her own time.
Being a British born South Asian (like many children of expats), I have always akin myself to being a dichotomy of sorts, having been equally exposed to British and South Asian culture, whilst growing up in the U.K. In my case, the torment and anguish showed up in the form of a raging battle between two opposing avatars: the “selfish” me and the “selfless” me, constantly pit up against each other; constantly trying to one up each other.
I was NEVER at peace. I was constantly at war with myself, until I realized that the solution wasn’t going to be a quick revelation, but a long, hard, actionable push against my sobriety, and the jarring exposition of my insecurities and vulnerabilities, which I had to face head on.
It took me a decade to learn one fundamental ideology that changed everything . . .
That peace isn’t found in the soft spot between the “selfish” and the “selfless” sides of oneself.
Why? Because both, in and by themselves, are limited in their capacity to evolve, by default of the constant head butting that can never end. I realized that I had to find something more powerful than the “ish” and the “less” that was all encompassing, that I would (almost) never have to get back on the wheel of Karma, and finally, pay my dues to myself, because . . .
Karma is not about others, but about the “self” journey.
And then it dawned on me. I realized that the “ish” and the “less” weren’t something within me, but something outside of me that I would pull into myself anytime I felt I needed to borrow those avatars to succeed. My big lesson here was that they were the reason for mylimited capacity to evolve into a higher, peaceful existence. I had to work to become full within myself so as to never slide back into the external leanings.
I HAD TO BE FULL – SELF-FUL.
And that’s the journey I am on now that holds me in peace – but it’s a constant practice even after all of these years – to stay in the nucleus of this status quo. The key is in the daily acknowledgement and practice.
If actioning this is something that you’re struggling with, then I invite you to book a free discovery call with me and let’s see if I can help you, help you!
And for those of you who aren’t bought in yet, I know there’s a big mindset shift to be accomplished here, especially for those of us who are not trained to look at opportunities that reside outside of conventional wisdom. So my advice to you if that’s you, is to take a leap of faith and open your mind to look beyond your conditioning, and expand your horizons – my team and I can help you do that to meet you where you are and to assist in taking you to where you so desperately need to go!
>>> We have worked with over 5,000 brands over a span of 20 years in the branding, communications, media, and marketing space, so you’re in great hands when you’re ready to leap forward with your professional and/or personal goals <<<
At THE OPEN CHEST CONFIDENCE ACADEMY, we focus on 3 ways to accomplish this:
– Coaching, Consulting, and Mentoring: To work with me directly, one-on-one virtually, towards specific goals and objectives.
– Team Retainers: To work with me and my team virtually (especially suited to solopreneurs or small businesses, as we act as your team to support you where its most needed until you’re able to hire an in-house team).
– Media Services: To work with my extended team to create your brand, communications, media, and marketing assets to build your authority roadmap (branding assets, podcast production, digital course production, media training & placements, speaking engagements, and much more).
My team and I hope to have the opportunity to work with you when you’re ready! And if that’s now, book a FREE discovery call HERE so we can figure out the best course of action for you in the short (1-3 months), medium (1-6 months), and long term (up to 12 months).
If you just have a question or two, feel free to email us at [email protected].
And finally, I’d like to sincerely thank you so much for hanging out with me here. I sincerely hope I bring some value into your world and if I do, show me some love by following me @RajGirn on my socials at LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Clubhouse, TikTok, and YouTube.
Until next week, take care of yourself and your loved ones!