Raj Girn: Hi everyone! Welcome to another exciting episode of the ‘Transform Your Confidence’ podcast, the show where we bring you into real conversations with thought leaders, change makers and experts who are transforming the way we think about confidence, leadership, and of course, the big one, self-worth.
This is a place where we bring you into our inner circle of recommended leaders, experts, and thought leaders to garner their insights of knowledge and techniques that are working today with the goal of levelling up your repertoire of expertise so that you’re always set up to win.
We say this all the time, guys, because at the end of the day, we can have conversations and interview people, but if it’s not parlaying some sort of relevance into your lives where you feel this just made sense to me or I want to action something, then what’s the point of having a conversation with someone? We can do that offline, right?
In today’s show, we will be focusing on Mindset & Clarity with the theme of “What If You Didn’t Doubt Yourself?”
TO WATCH:
TO LISTEN:
TO READ, SCROLL DOWN:
Raj Girn: Before we being, I’d like to remind you to subscribe to our YouTube channel at The Open Chest Confidence Academy to view all video versions of the show and also search Transform Your Confidence wherever you receive your audio podcasts, so you never miss an episode, when we launch them every 3rd Thursday of the month. Please remember that and hit the notification button just in case you don’t remember.
I’d love for you to give us a five star rating. I’m putting it out there. I’d love it and I would appreciate it because then the algorithms will allow more people, more women like you and me, to be able to find this wonderful resource of incredible learnings that we have with all of these incredible women. We used to do men before as well, but I just felt more aligned with the conversations of you know, our women. And you’re going to learn a lot more about that as we talk a little bit with my guest, who I’m gonna take a moment to introduce.
In today’s show, we will be focusing on Mindset & Clarity with the theme of “What If You Didn’t Doubt Yourself?”
My guest today is Julie DeLuca-Collins. Julie is a dynamic business strategist and coach dedicated to empowering women, especially entrepreneurs to build profitable, purpose-driven businesses, something that we’re always looking to glean more information to be able to do better, right, guys? Less time, more service, more money, more time with our families, right?
As the founder of Go Confidently Services and Casa De Confidence Productions, I’m so excited to learn more about this. She combines her expertise as a successful C-level executive who has excelled in growing successful businesses, tiny habits. So this is the business, cognitive behavioral techniques. And holistic life coaching to help clients develop confidence, build profitable businesses, launch and grow podcasts while becoming in demand thought leaders. A big wow for that for a moment. Julie is also, I want to carry on here, Julie. I’m not bringing you in.
Julie DeLuca-Collins: Oh my gosh, I don’t even know who you’re speaking about.
I’m not bringing you in yet, I’m going on. Julie is the #1 award-winning author of Confident You, a TEDx speaker, a top 50 over 50 podcaster. She has been featured on ABC, NBC, and Fox and co-hosts the I just mentioned it, the globally ranked Casa de Confidence podcast with her husband Dan, and cannot wait to hear what that’s all about.
I want to thank you for coming on. I really cannot wait to glean your insights and just on you know, a level that we both really align with, which is confidence. Thank you so much for coming on, Julie. And just say a few moments. Just say a few words here because you know I always find that when I go on podcasts and people read about my bio, I’m like, oh, hang on a minute, have I done all that? Who is she?
Yeah. Same, same. And thank you. Thank you so much for hosting me and for having this incredible platform. I am the one who is in awe and honoured to be in a space where you’ve hosted some incredible individuals and I get to learn from them as well. We were just talking about Jill—in the last episode. And you are a master content creator and you’re changing lives. So thank you again for hosting me.
Oh, thank you so much, Julie. I mean, right back at your sister, but I wanna dive in. What inspired you to start Go Confidently Services and the Casa de Confidence podcast? I kind of feel like they parlay into each other. But as life is, there’s always a backstory. Share it.
Okay, so here’s the backstory. Pretty simple. Go Confidently is a quote—Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you have imagined. That’s a quote by Henry David Thoreau. For as long as I can remember, that has been my life quote. My dad told me that quote. He loved Henry David Thoreau and I would use it and I would put it in my email signature since I had email.
But it was always the thing that anytime that I felt scared, anytime that I felt doubt, I would just say, Julie, just go confidently. And I didn’t feel confident, but I still moved forward. And I talk a little bit about that in my podcast. Now, about 2009, I went through a divorce. And it was definitely something that I didn’t envision happening. And that’s when I started to do, in addition to therapy, I started to do some more personal development and I started working with a coach, and I loved that.
“Anytime I felt scared or doubtful, I’d tell myself: Julie, just go confidently.”
I loved how the therapy was helping me heal, but the coaching was helping me move forward. And I felt so blessed and fortunate that I had a space where all of a sudden I could shift my mindset. I could start to see things a little differently and also, move forward confidently, even if I didn’t have it together. So fast forward to about 2014/15, I decided to go through a coaching program.
And not because I was going to be a coach, but I thought, this is, I’m going to do self-coaching. I’m going to coach myself. The more that I know about this, the better. In 2015/16, I went through another program and I thought, maybe someday in the future I’ll help other women. One of the things that had happened in my corporate career is that the higher I got in that corporate ladder, the less women were in the room.
Right.
And the higher that I got, the women that were maybe in other rooms would say, Oh, congratulations on the promotion. I wish I was that confident. And I would get tired of saying, I don’t always feel that confident. I don’t always have it together. And I wanted them to really, really, really know this.
Yeah.
So that was my intent that someday in the future, who knows when, I would help women with the go confidently. So fast forward to 2019, I got my yoga teacher certification, which was something that I was terrified of doing because I always thought that would be fun, but I was scared of doing it.
And I did it and I accomplished it. And I thought, wow, maybe soon I can go and do my own thing. And I started to do some side coaching here and there. And I loved it. But I can tell you, I was terrified of going out on my own, starting my own business. Even though I’ve had my little side hustles, right, for as long as I can remember.
And I thought, wow, I’m talking about confidence and yet you don’t have the confidence right now to go and jump. So the Universe knew what was happening, and of course, we had a global pandemic. And about two weeks into the pandemic, the company that I worked for was hit very hard—we were in education, and with schools being shut down, the company pretty much was not gonna do well.
So I was offered a separation package. And I knew that that was the universe saying, okay, here it is. Here’s your chance. And once I took the separation package, I decided—okay, I’m gonna start helping other women go confidently. And it was sort of meta, right? Because I’m doing it myself, but I’m gonna help other women. And I began this journey.
Now, I will say my initial vision was to definitely work with women who were in that corporate space, who were in middle management and wanted to do more, but weren’t sure how to do it. And of course, I couldn’t think of any other name other than go confidently because I wanted people to have no doubt that this is what they’re going to get when they work.
Yes. Yes.
So that’s how the business started. Now, at the same time that this is happening, I was planning a big milestone birthday party for myself. I was turning 50 in April, and of course, we know what was going on in April of 2020. But I thought, oh my gosh, when this lockdown thing is done in a couple weeks, I’ve started a new business and now I’m going to have this big birthday party to celebrate.
Of course, that was not going to happen. And my husband saw the writing on the wall. He knew that this party was not going to happen. And he thought, my extroverted wife has been laid off and now she’s not going to have a birthday party. She’s been planning for months. So he got podcasting equipment as a birthday gift. And when it came in, he said: look, you’ve talked about starting a podcast forever. And I know that you’ve been hesitant. You are not sure what to do. You were intimidated by the tech. He’s like, don’t worry about the tech. I will do the tech. You do the talking. And he did sound engineering in college. And of course, he’s a very tech savvy person, he works, and now in aerospace, so of course the tech is no big for him.
Yeah.
And I thought, okay, what am I going to call the podcast? What am I going to call that? And the more that we were thinking, I wanted it to be a place where you felt comfortable to come to. And just like our home tends to be the home where we invite friends, and friends can come and relax and maybe have a cup of tea or a glass of wine and unwind and really talk about everything, right? That’s the vibe I wanted for the podcast.
And of course, I looked at my wall and we have a sign on our wall with my husband. It says Casa de Collins. I’m DeLuca, he’s Collins, but this is our home. And I thought, what better way than to make that the house of confidence—Casa de Confidence, because, this is the place, right?
And when I recorded my first episode, I thought it was only going to be me. And my husband’s like, okay, well, press record. And I said, well . . . what am I gonna talk about? He’s like, talk about yourself. And I thought, I don’t know what I’m, how do I do this without sounding terrible? So he’s like . . . well, you’ll figure it out. And then I took a piece of paper and pen, and I wrote several questions and I handed them to him and said: Okay, you interview me, ask me these questions. And that’s how he got his role as co-host on the podcast.
“I didn’t feel confident, but I still moved forward.”
I love it.
And that is what I started. Yeah.
So much to unpack here, but there’s one thing that really came in resoundingly to me as you were sharing this part of your backstory, and that is the amount of little messages the universe kept sending you as to where it is that you should be going. And you, even with all the resistance, there would be like another message that would come in. So I wanna ask you this as succinctly as I can, and it’s what was maybe one pivotal moment that shifted your path from being in corporate to now towards entrepreneurship? Because I feel that’s the big thing that a lot of women lack confidence in, how can we help them from your story there?
Yeah, you know, I think that for me as I launched that business, there were so many, like you said, moments, that were the universe speaking to me. But I came in with that I’m gonna do it, but I’m not sure what I’m doing, kind of frame of mind. And then I thought, wait a minute, if I’m gonna make this a go, I need to take what I know and what I already was successful at and take those skills and apply them to this. And I think that a lot of times, as women, we consider ourselves beginners.
And sure, I never own a business of this size. I’ve never done this. But I had to borrow the confidence from the woman who ran a multi million dollar enterprise for somebody else and say, Okay, you can do it. You’ve done it. You’ve done it maybe in a different arena. And I think many women, for instance, the homemakers who have been home, and then go back to the workforce and say, Oh, I don’t have any skills. And yet they are masters of scheduling, masters at organizing things, and yet they’re not giving themselves credit.
I think that’s the point where we need to really borrow the confidence from our future selves, but also our past selves and learn from where we’ve been.
Oh my god, I love that. There is so much to take from what you just said there, which I feel beautifully parlays into your book Confident you. What does confidence really mean to you? And why is it such a game changer for women entrepreneurs? Can you bridge that gap for us?
Sure. So, the idea of the book was to share with others, not that I have it together, because again, I want people to know that in an area of life that you think I don’t know what I’m doing. You are not alone. And we live in an era of Instagramable lives in which we see everybody’s high points. And I wanted to normalize for others that when you’re seeing the high points of somebody else, it means that there’s a lot of other things that went in the background.
There might have been dirty dishes when that picture was taken and all you see is the pretty filter, but not the dirty dishes. I wanted to pull back the curtain on that, and confident you. And really the premise of the book is I didn’t get here by myself. I got here through the individuals who have been instrumental in my life, through the women and some cool dudes, right? But the women in particular struggled with confidence and had habits that then they continue to do daily, consistently and perfectly. But these habits are the ones that gave them confidence.
So every chapter unpacks my relationship, maybe with this woman at a point in my life that this person was instrumental and helping me learn a lesson in confidence. And helping me learn the habits that help them reach the level of success in which they have. And also, how can I become confident using that framework, that habit, that frame of mind? So that’s exactly what the book is about.
And I’m hoping that readers, when they see it, when they hear it, they can say, oh, okay, I get it. That doctor didn’t know if she could become a doctor. Or that woman who wrote a book, also, even though she was terminally ill. Okay, she was afraid. But she did it, right? And if they did it, I can do it too. And that’s what I’m hoping people can get out of that, out of the book.
Absolutely. And so what I’m hearing you say here is that it’s part of a journey that you have experienced. And part of the framework to help women go down the same route, but in their specific life’s talk. Am I right? Am I missing anything?
I think that sometimes we feel, oh my goodness, I need to take that road and walk in the same footsteps. And sure, you may be walking the same route, but you’re walking in your own footsteps. You’re creating your own footsteps. And you’re just hearing the lessons and you’re avoiding the pitfalls and you are knowing what to anticipate based on the experience that somebody else is sharing.
That’s the magic right here. I really, really am very excited actually about this book. I would like to get a copy of this book.
Well, I’m gonna send you a copy and if for your readers I’ll also, what I’ll do is I’ll send you the copy of the Kindle version so they can download it for free.
Oh, that is fantastic. Look, you are such a gift. You are the gift, you’re the gift that just keeps giving. And so I want to ask you this because this is another gift that I know that you really can unpack for women who have this issue. And that is what are some common confidence blockers you see in women, whether they’re leaders, actually let’s say the leaders.
Let’s say the leaders, because we always define people who are higher up the ladder to be people that because they are accomplished, that they would have more confidence. But in my experience, because I’ve worked with a lot of celebrities, a lot of multinational corporations in one of my other media brands, Anokhi.
And what I’ve learned is that the more beautiful the celebrity, the more accomplished the celebrity, when you’re dealing with women, the more angst she has around whether she’s good enough.
So I wanna reframe this again. For women who are in any form of leadership position, what are some common confidence blockers that you see and how do we help them break through them? How do we finally help these women realize that they are good enough, that they have done the things that they keep questioning whether what they’ve done is good enough?
“The higher I got on the corporate ladder, the less women were in the room.”
Yeah. I’m so glad you’re talking about this. It’s very interesting too that you’re bringing this up. I hosted a mastermind for my clients and we were meeting prior to me jumping on the call with you. And one of the things, what’s it called, it’s called the Confident You Mastermind.
I love it.
I’m in if anything, consistent and boring.
No, there’s nothing boring about consistency. Clarity is the magic that’s always missing in most of the challenges that we face in life, right?
A hundred percent. You are right. And for so in the Confident You Mastermind, one of the things that we’ve been talking a little bit about is the leaky buckets in our business. Because there’s certain things, we may have all the systems or things, but there’s things that maybe we need to tweak a little bit. And I actually, for myself, I know that that’s the work that I consistently have to do.
Now I have a client, and the question to them was, what are some of the things that have paid off for you in your business this year? And one of them, and this is gonna sound a little self serving, but bear with me as I say this. She said, Well, working with you and your husband has been one of the things. And it made me really tear up because she started to tear up. And she said, I don’t know what I’m doing. I and here’s a woman who fits the mold of what you’re saying. She’s an accomplished physician.
Wow.
She is a great mom. Her kids are wonderful. She is a community leader and she’s releasing a book through a traditional publisher. And she doesn’t feel like she is enough. She doesn’t feel like she measures up. She doesn’t feel like she can do it or any of the things that she is doing are making an impact. And this is so common of all of us.
And I think that platforms like yours, like mine, they’re the place where we can share these kind of things. So that the woman who is sitting home working out or is in the car says, Oh, I’m not alone. Because the more that we feel that we’re isolated, the more that we feel that we don’t fit in, the more that we feel that we are the one who is the only one experiencing this, the less likely we are to move forward.
And it’s not until we start to move forward and like I say, get that consistent action going because that consistent action gets you the evidence. It gets you the evidence that you’re doing it, and it also creates the competency that gives you confidence.
Yes. You know, it’s so interesting you’re saying that because one of the big missions that we have at The Open Chest Confidence Academy that our big tagline is that we help women bridge the gap between competence and confidence.
I love that. Absolutely. And that’s exactly what it is. And for me, the beauty, and and really, this is the magic that I’ve seen with the members of the Confident You Mastermind. They’re a community. And it is a safe place where you can share this is what I’m feeling, this is what I’m thinking.
And you can have other women create a safe space, but also pour back into this woman and reaffirm them and be what I like to call, and I often talk about this on the podcast, your believing mirror. We need to have those mirrors that say to us, you may not see the wonderfulness, the beauty, the competency you have, but I see it, honey. And here it is. Look at it. And until you’re able to see it, I’m gonna reflect it on you.
Oh my god, I love it. So I know that there’s gonna be people that are watching, listening, and reading this that are going to want to know a little bit more information about how to sign up. Now give us some information. Again, let’s refirm the name of what this is. Where do they go to sign up? And what should they expect from the experience?
Oh, well, thank you. So the Confident You Mastermind really is the community that I know I also need from time to time. We’re incredibly gifted individuals in their field, and we create not only a circular economy in which we support each other. If we need a website and we have a website designer, guess where we’re gonna go? We’re going to go to our trusted person who is part of the sisterhood of the membership. And the Confident You Mastermind meets weekly.
But we also, depending on whether or not they’re looking for additional support, all the members get to work with me at least once a month to really strategize for their business, where they want to go, what are the things that they need to put in place. And we create a very clear and a clear plan, right? Because without a roadmap, it’s hard to know where we’re going, much less arrive.
So if we’re looking to go anywhere in our business or in our personal life, we need to have that all outlined. So then we can create those daily actions. The Confident You Mastermind has an open enrollment. People just have to apply and make sure that they are committed because it is an intimate environment in which we wanna make sure that anybody coming in is not only going to be able to get something out of it, but it’s gonna be committed to themselves to do the showing up to be vulnerable, but also to be there to support others and be that part of believing mirrors.
“Consistent action gets you the evidence… and that evidence builds the confidence.”
I love this. So why are they signing up on your website?
Well they come, they go to goconfidentlycoaching.com and they go on to work with me, then there is, you just fill out the application or book a call with me. And for me, even if you book a call, one of the things that I love to do is just to talk to you, see where you are, and make sure that also I’m the right fit for you.
And if I’m not, guess what? I love the community outside of my community because I always know someone that may be a better fit. And if that’s the case, I love to be able to just connect people because that’s our strength, the connection and the lifting of each other up as women. We’re not these women who are catty, who are always you know, like it’s depicted in the media, I think.
Yes.
The mean girls. We’re not that.
I feel that there are a lot less mean girls out there than media depicts because I in my lifetime and I’ve lived and traveled extensively in different places, have can count these mean girls maybe on just one hand and I’ve met thousands of women in my lifetime. So it’s absolutely very in, because it’s a more interesting story for entertainment, right Julie?
Of course. They are gonna be sensationalized. And it really, all of us have a need to belong. All of us have gifts that we want to share. And when we are in a space where maybe there’s competition, it’s not because we’re bad at heart. It’s because at the end of the day, we’re human and we have that fear and we want to belong. And that fear sometimes it’s greater than our understanding of how we are reacting to things.
I heard Brene Brown was on Jen Hatmaker’s podcast. And one of the things not Jen no, it wasn’t Brene Brown. It is Mel Melody Beattie who wrote Codependent No More. And one of the things that she said is every human being is codependent. And I took a step back and I thought, oh no, I don’t know about that. But as she unpacked that thought, I realized that, wait a minute, yes, our ability to be able to manage our emotions, our ability to be able to say, hey, that person is inflicting on my boundaries. Maybe no, I’m going to push back that we may have tendencies for codependency.
But if we’re able to put our boundaries up, say no when we need to, and also surround ourselves with the accountability partners that are going to help us, then we can navigate that. But at the end of the day, mean girls are just women, who maybe overcomed with their past, their trauma, their inefficiencies, and they haven’t had the support or the path. I mean, certainly Julie, who was married to her first husband before she saw a coach, before she did some of the work herself, she might have been that girl.
Right. Absolutely.
Absolutely. We all have these moments.
You know, you’ve spoken, Julie, about the Queen Bee syndrome and the Tall Poppy syndrome. Okay, I’ll just go to the top.
Okay, I just did a talk on that last year, so I, what—favourite things to talk about too.
So let’s contextualize it for the women that come on this particular podcast. How do these dynamics show up in leadership? And how can women support each other better?
Yeah, so good. So the Queen Bee syndrome and the Tall Poppy syndrome, there really are two things that I wish I knew about, right? And I will tell you that for you, if you’re in a position of leadership, a lot of times you may be working with another leader that is incredibly gifted, but will be intimidated because of maybe their past trauma or because of some of their experiences or inadequacies or fears.
And therefore they’re going to cut you down because they are afraid of what they would lose if you shine. And by the way, that was me at the beginning of my leadership career because I was afraid. I ascended into leadership really quickly. And I thought, oh, they’re gonna find me out, they’re gonna know I’m not perfect, they’re gonna know I don’t have it together. Wait a minute, I can’t let my person shine because they’re she’s gonna take my job.
And it wasn’t until I realized, like, wait a minute. If she takes over my job and I let her shine, then that means that I’m going to shine and I’m gonna get the next job. So, and that’s really the support system now, and that’s hard. Yeah, and that’s hard.
Absolutely.
I had a call with one of my assistants and actually, I followed her on Instagram. We kind of reconnected on Instagram a couple of years back. And as I was doing a lot of this work again, because the work never stops, I thought back to some of the experiences. And she had just posted that she had a promotion and she’s doing some great work.
And I text her, and I haven’t texted her in maybe over 10 years. And I said, Hey, do you have a minute? I’d like to, maybe if you have a couple minutes, I’d love to talk to you. And she said, sure, I’ll call you. And when she called, I said, I need to apologize to you. Because I was mean to you. I wasn’t the best leader for you at times. And I’m so proud of the work that you’re doing and the things that you’ve accomplished. And I’m so glad that you’re there. And I know that I didn’t have it together. And I’m glad that maybe I’m becoming a better person and helping others overcome that mistake,because of the lessons that I’ve learned.
And she said she appreciated what I had to say. But she also said, could I be tough? Sure. But also it allowed her to know that it was possible to be able to reach the places that I had reached. So, but I think that it’s always a lesson for all of us, right? To see and not be afraid of seeing inadequacies because at the end of the day that’s what we’re afraid of seeing is the thing that we feel doesn’t measure up.
We feel that we need to be, or we feel that we need to have. And every time we’re looking at something from that scarcity mentality, we are going to see the negatives. We’re not going to see the possibilities. And the possibilities are the things that keep us going.
“Do something small and give yourself credit. When you celebrate the little things, they begin to stack up.”
Absolutely, Julie. What is one simple habit you swear by that helps you stay grounded? Helps you be productive, kind of productive every day. And not necessarily big things, but things that are transferable to any kind of lifestyle or any circumstance—share that with us.
Well, I’m gonna share two. And these are the ones that may not seem groundbreaking, but I really know that these are the two things that help me every day of my life.
Number one is in the morning when I get up and I put my feet in the ground. That is my prompt that reminds me to say to myself, hey Julie, it’s gonna be a great day. And I say it out loud. I actually say it to my dogs, and I’ll say, Hey boys, it’s gonna be a great day today. Even if it’s just cloudy, even if the most terrible thing has happened, I say it because it reminds me that I have a choice and I can decide what kind of day I’m going to have.
And that’s what really gets my day started. Now, of course, I come downstairs and as I let my dogs out, which is the other thing that reminds me to do this, I fill my water bottle. I let them out the back door. My water bottle is typically on the counter in the kitchen, and I fill it with water. And I typically will say, Good job, Julie. You’re a girl who drinks water every day. And these are two wins.
That water, I may not be the healthiest. I am not the fittest. I may not be the most focused person on some days, but the fact that I’m winning and the fact that I’m doing something and checking off, like I am working towards becoming that healthy girl. I am working towards it’s a win that inspires me.
So even in the day, if I’m starting to feel like, oh, everything is going wrong, I can go back and I see the water bottle sitting at my desk and I say, no, I already had a win. Good for me. Look at that. I’m a girl who drinks water every day, right? And I think that these are the things that we think are good habits to have. Maybe I’m gonna meditate for 20 minutes and I’m gonna work out for an hour and I’m going to journal for another 20 minutes.
Honey, you don’t have to do that. Do something small and give yourself credit because when you celebrate the little things that you do, then the little things begin to stack up and you can leverage that win and you can leverage that compounding effect. And at the end of the day, is the consistent action that gets you the traction.
Oh, I love that. Can you say that again?
Consistent action gets you traction.
I love it. You teach emotional intelligence. It’s just coming into my mind now and trauma informed communications, right? How can leaders, especially women, because let’s keep it in our lane, use these skills to better support themselves, their families, and their place of work, like the teams that they are either leadershiping over or are a part of, especially now with the world being how it is.
Right. Yeah. I think that, for us, right? And I want to be clear. For me, I had a very blessed childhood. However, Julie 2025 can tell you that Julie has trauma that she has to deal with and she’s working through. Julie in 2005 would have said, trauma. I’ve never had trauma in my life. What? Oh no, not me. And the journey from 20 years has been acknowledging that one, I don’t have it together.
Number two, it’s normal. And we have to bring awareness first. And here, here’s a little bit, and I learned this from my coach and I love to share it, because it is so true. Number one, we need to implement the four ends. Number one is we need to notice, hey, I reacted that way. Why? And be curious about it. Not what we tend to do, right, when we notice a bad behavior or something that we don’t like in ourselves, then we immediately try to hide it.
Whereas noticing, ooh, I just snapped on my husband. I wonder why. Why does that make me feel uncomfortable? Or why does that, right? Fill in the blank, whatever it might be. When you notice it, then you can get curious and start digging into that a little bit and start understanding it and processing. And you don’t have to fix it, but notice it.
The second thing and the second N is you need to normalize it. Because sometimes when we shed light into something that we don’t like, then that’s when we can go very easily into the I’m broken, right? But if you normalize it and you said, look at that. I am snapping on my husband. Right. Then you’re normal. I’m human. I’m a human. I’m a woman who gets annoyed when he leaves his shoes in the hallway, right?
Normalize it. And then neutralize the thought. Because the thought that you’re having, oh my gosh. It could either be like how he doesn’t understand that I told him not to do that. Or how can I normalize it and neutralize it? Neutralize maybe even your behavior. Okay, I snapped. Why? Okay, it’s normal. I can have these moments that bothers me. And I’m not in a moment of peace.
Of course, I’m going to snap because this reminds me of, or I’ve learned to react that way, because that’s how I learned to protect myself. And at that point, as you’ve noticed it, you neutralize what you said to yourself, you normalize that you’re human.
Then the last and most important N is the next best step. You got it. You saw it. You acknowledged it. You know. What is the next best thing that you can do? Hey, honey, I’m so sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that. I was in a moment. I should have taken a beat after I tripped over your shoes. Right. I apologize. I’m going to try to do better. And notice, right? The next time that you trip over the shoes, I’m trying to do better. I’m working on doing better. And that’s when you decide and practice, right?
That next best step is I might have apologized, but then you start to figure it out, play it out in your mind when it happens again, how do you want to show up? What does that look like? And begin to take those lessons from that future self because that’s the future self that will teach you the things that you need to do today to get to where she is.
Absolutely. I feel like I need to add on the obvious layer here, Julie. And that’s the layer of the fact that we are in the era of AI and digital disruption, transformation, illumination, whatever version of that, that you look at it as. What should entrepreneurs, women, keep in mind about staying human-centered in their business and with people? And as this AI explodes even further, which we know it will.
AI is a really fun conversation for me. And I think that is the one thing that we won’t stop seeing. It’s gonna grow. Yep. And I think that for many of us, what we need to acknowledge is that, yes, like we got used to using a calculator, right?
That was technology.
“You’re never going to be able to replace empathy. You’re never going to be able to replace kindness. You’re never going to be able to replace holding space.”
Right. That was technology. Be okay. And guess what? It’s gonna give you some shortcuts. But at the end of the day, you’re never going to be able to replace empathy. You’re never gonna be able to replace kindness. You’re never gonna be able to replace just a simple holding space with somebody. And as you’re incorporating that calculator, be okay with I’m still gonna use other things, the things that that AI can’t do or won’t do or can are just very unique to me.
I think all of us take for granted that each of us has something that nobody else has in this world. And if you begin to practice that, I love to share how AI helps me with writing my social media content? Sure. Of course. It makes it easier. It helps me outline it. But at the end of the day, it’s me who will pick up the microphone or the phone and speak from my heart and what I know, right? That’s never going to be substituted, I hope. So make it a point to show up in a human way in whatever interactions you have, whether it be in your business. Or whether it be with other people.
I absolutely agree. And you know, I cannot believe that we’re getting close to the end of this podcast, Julie. Can you believe it? I have no idea, but I want to be able to encapsulate some of what we’ve been talking about. I want to be able to ask you that, for the women that are watching, listening, or reading this today, that may be feeling stuck or unsure about their next step. What’s one piece of advice that you want her to take away directly from you?
The one piece of advice that I want someone to hear today is be okay with knowing that where you are right now, even if you’re stuck, it’s where you’re supposed to be. And give yourself credit for even getting here to the stuck part. And then rather than looking at where you want to be and where you’re not yet, and looking at who you haven’t become yet, go back and look at where you’ve come from and say, Wow, look at me. I left that marriage. Look at me. I started a business. Look at me, I did that. And get that lesson and take that and be proud of yourself and celebrate it.
Because there’s always going to be something that you’ve done that you didn’t realize how far you’ve come. And if you can’t see it, find your girlfriend. Find that believing mirror to remind you, to show you. Because that is going to help you put the next step forward, whatever that step may be. And it doesn’t have to be a big step. We talked about it. It can be 1% better than what you did today. That’s all. That’s all it takes.
Bringing people back to the title. What if you didn’t doubt yourself? Can you answer that for everyone? Give us some context. What if you didn’t doubt yourself.
If you didn’t stout yourself, we would not only be able to show up how we want to show up, but we would also create room for the next person to come alongside us and do it. Because then we won’t be afraid or intimidated by the other person.
What if we didn’t doubt ourselves? If you didn’t doubt yourself, then you would know the gifts that you have and how you already have what you need. And even if you need to evolve more, even if you’re not at the level in your career or your business or your relationship, where you are today is exactly what it will take for you to get to where you want to be.
So don’t doubt that. Be glad that you’re here. Be glad that you’re in that moment because you’re going to look back and say, oh, that’s the person that helped me get here.
Absolutely. Any final words? Any questions I haven’t asked you? Anything that you feel people need to know from you before we close off?
You know, you’ve been so thorough. I love having interviews where just deep thought and we’re really digging into things that matter, right? That makes sense that we can go back to. And I want to encourage the listeners that if there’s anything that they’ve heard here, I can guarantee you that you can go back to other episodes of the show. And there’s so many commonalities that are going to come through.
And even if you’ve heard these episodes before, go back and listen to them because now you’re going to listen to them with a different perspective. Maybe the one that I’ve added to the conversation. And I’m so grateful, right? That we can continue to have these conversations and expand and bring our own perspectives into it because we may say it differently. And perhaps that’s what we need that day is to hear it differently.
Yes. And sometimes you hear things, Julie, you know this, I know this. You hear the same thing over and over again, but then someone frames it differently and it just lands. Right?
Yeah, of course.
Absolutely. Well, if any of this is landed for you guys out there, I really encourage you to go and hang out with our fabulous Julie. Go check out her Mastermind, go check out her coaching and pick up the book, go see her TEDx as well.
How do people stay in touch with you? Where do we want to send people so that they can see the world of Julie DeLuca-Collins?
Oh, you’re so kind. Well, the best place to find me, and then you’ll find everything is at goconfidentlycoaching.com. And you’ll find the podcast. You’ll find my resources. I have lots of free resources. Anything and everything that I wanted as an entrepreneur or as a woman in leadership. I’ve put it together.
Every time I create something or I write a blog, I’m like, I wish I knew this. So it’s all on the website. If you want to follow me on social, you can find me through that. And of course, the podcast and the book are all there.
I love it. Thank you so much, Julie, for sharing your insights, your journey. I mean, there’s just so much value. There’s so many things that I’m thinking about reframing even in my own mindset with some of the things that you’ve been sharing here. Simple language. Sometimes simple language is all you need. So much direction to move forward with, folks.
Thank you so much again for your thought leadership. And I really encourage people to go hang out with you and go be a part of your world because I just know from these few moments that we’ve shared together that a lifetime of sharing with you is going to be just exactly what the doctor ordered. You know, I mean that.
Thank you my friend, You’re so kind. I love this platform. I love what you’re building. And this is really a safe space for us to grow together and move forward and go confidently in the direction of our dreams.
I love it. Thank you again, Julie.
Thank you.
And from my perspective, folks, I will see everyone next time with another insightful episode, just like this one. Transform Your Confidence, the podcast folks, you can go hangout with us on YouTube at The Open Chest Confidence Academy. You can also go to The OpenChestConfidenceAcademy.com to sign up for our freebies, our free newsletter. Be a part of our community.
And please stay connected with us on our socials at @The Open Chest Confidence Academy and theopenchestconfidenceacademy.com website where you can find out different ways that you can work with me and our team. See you next time.
And as always, I’ll see you next time. Take care of yourself.
